Where there's a Mill, there's a Way!
by Cajun Charmer
Summary: An Intitute Reunion throws the live of the xmen completely out of wack! It has been ten years, how much has chnged? ALOT! A rather pointless endevour to try and be 'random'.
1. Party plans and the Unhappy man

**X-men: The Untold Story**

"Professor, this party is a great idea, it will give the old students a time to remember the good times here……In the School for Gifted Youngsters…." Beast stroked his 'new' beard and looked back, over the good times.

"Yes, also is an excuse to use up the food and booze from the christmas party" The professor agreed, also stroking his beard.

"What Christmas party? I wasn't invited to a Christmas party!" Beast complained.

"Wasn't so much a Christmas party as a get together of friends and a celebration of the birth of Christ" The Professor smiled.

"Oh, well, that's completely different" Beast smirked.

And they stared into the distance, remembered all the happy memories of the students, and LO did they stroke their beards!

_The Party of Rememberence!_

Scott drove into the drive, got out of the car and opened the door for his new wife, Jean.

"There you go Jean, don't fall over on the step or anything!" Scott glowered at his wife.

"Oh thank you Scottie, can you believe it's been a century since we left here?" Jean gazed up at the Institute.

"A decade Jean, a decade!" Scott shouted.

"Velcome mein freunds!" Kurt greeted.

"Come in, come in, meet the friends that we havn't seen in a long time!" he waved to Scott and Jean.

"Wow, Kurt's German?" Jean asked in astonishment.

"YES YOU DETESTablyyy…lovely lady" Scott kissed Jean's cheek.

"Kurt, Can I talk to you for a second?" Scott grabbed Kurt's arm and pulled him into his room.

"Kurt, I hate Jean!" Scott said desperately.

"Then vhy did you marry her?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know, but I HATE her so much, 'oh 'Scottie, your so smart' and 'oh, Scottie your so brave' YAGHHH! She makes me sick! I'd rather spend a weekend with EVAN Kurt, EVAN!"

Evan entered smiling, with a beard.

"Really dude?"

"Shut up Evan!" Scott shouted.

"You know what she did yesterday, forgot the stairs. She got out of bed and BANG tumble, flop, she fell down, She didn't get hurt though, no cuts, no bruises, she just gets up and says 'My bad!' and laughed! I want her DEAD!" Scott Screamed.

"C'mon man, she's not that bad" Evan said.

"Oh, Evan, you make me so!….." Scott punched Evan then went on complaining.

"I want her dead Kurt, DEAD! I hate the F son of a B, I wish she were in hell dancing with Satan, like a jester, with chains and spikes and whips! And every time she puts her feet down she gets burned HA HA HA HA HA! And I'll laugh dammit, laugh laugh till my cries of Joy echo through the corridors HE HE HE HE!" Scott fell to the floor cursing the floor, he stopped and stared at Kurt.

"So what are you up to?" Scott asked getting up and straighting his clothes out.

"I'm a vicar" Kurt said plainly

"Oh, well….." Scott rubbed his neck.

"It's okay my child" Kurt patted his shoulder, and Scott looked confused.

"Zhere must be something you like about her" Kurt said, shrugging his shoulders.

"She makes eggs in the morning" Scott answered blandly.

"Zhere you go mein child"

"Sunny-side up, I HATE SUNNY SIDE UP!" Scott screamed, just as Evan was getting up, he punched him again.

"Oh, and poached! Except, it's not kinda poached, it's sorta, just bits of egg over the walls, she seems to think that's how it's done" Scott said.

"Oh, that's not how it's done? That's how I make poached eggs" Kurt asked puzzled.

"Scottie!"

"Oh GOD!", She comes, it's too late for me, run Kurt, RUN!" Scott pushed Kurt, who didn't move.

"There you are! Come on Silly Scottie….." Jean hugged him.

"Come on Scottie, let's huggy it up" Jean smiled dumbly.

"With pleasure!" Scott put his hand around Jean's neck.

"Come on Jean, you should see Zhe new students!" Kurt pulled Jean out the room.

Evan woke up.

"Evan, you have five, four, three" Scott gazed angrily at the doorway and Evan began to get confused and nervous.

"ONE!" Scott punched Evan, hard.

"Zhis is Nightshade, he has zhe ability to shoot atomic lasers from his finger tips" Kurt explained.

"Hey, how are you!" Jean screamed.

"Jean, he's not deaf" Kurt said, looking at a very scared Nightshade.

"Really, you are aren't you?" She asked Nightshade.

"I don't think so" He replied.

"Ahh you speak very good english" Jean nodded.

"Jean, he is english" Kurt said slaping his forhead.

"What?" Jean asked scratching her head.

"Never mind, here is Darkwater, she has the abilty to turn all natural minerals into oil, then can control that oil with her mind, it's all about quantem physics really, heh heh" Kurt explained.

"What? What are you talking about?" Jean wondered.

"She has zhe ablity to……"

"Are you sure he's not deaf, he's not talking to me" Jean asked, talking to a painting.

"Yes Jean, he's deaf" Kurt directed her to dining room.


	2. new professions and water melons

The Dining Room 

"So did you ever marry Kitty?" Scott asked Kurt.

"Nein, our interests were different" He explained.

"Really, like what?"

"She's dead……and I'm not"

"What?" All the X-men screamed.

"Are you sure he's not deaf?" Jean asked.

All the X-men slowly turned ther heads to Jean, who was talking to a pepper mill, she had politly got some food for, and a napkin.

"Jean, are you talking to a pepper mill?" Xavier asked.

"Yeah, she does that" Scott said

"So, Kitty's dead?" Evan asked.

"Ja, in a very silly way" Kurt explained, whiping away a tear.

"How?" Xavier asked.

"She fell down the stairs"

"That doesn't sound silly" Scott said looking over at Jean.

"Really? she tripped vater melon shaped like…….Chuck Norris"

Everyone gasped.

"She spent six weeks in a coma when she got out……" Kurt explained, sniffing.

"She couldn't Vatch Texas ranger, or eat……Vater melon" He burst into tears.

"That's okay man" Evan patted his back sympathetically.

"She zhen took a power drill to her left temple, to try and bour the memories out" Kurt sniffed, and looked down at the table, sad.

"Wait, have I heard that line before?" Scott said wondering to him self.

"I don't think you have" Brian Cox said.

"Brian Cox?" Everybody screamed.

"In such films as: Mad Max, Braveheart and Signs?" Storm excitedly asked.

"No" Brian answered in confusion.

"That's Mel Gibson" He said plainly.

"Oh, do you have his number?" Storm asked, there was a long silence.

"Actually yes" Brian wrote a number down on a napkin.

"Oh, this will make my day!" Storm ran out the room.

"Well" The Professor started "You all have a lot of catching up to do" He wheeled out of the room.

"c'mon Scottie, let's see our old rooms, you can come too Nightshade" Jean grabbed the pepper mill then Scott's arm.

"Oh Kurt, help meeeeeeeeee….." His screams echoed into nothing.

The room soon emptied so just Kurt and Brian Cox sat around the table.

"So…….." Brian started. "Your wifes dead huh?"

Kurt broke down in tears.

"Oh….uh…..there there" Brian patted his back.

"Hank, I forgot how annoying some of the students were" The professor said.

"Yeah, but, Rogue hasn't turned up yet" He said "Maybe she'll have something really interesting to say"

"Your kidding right, you remember what she was like Achem" The Professor cleared his voice.

"That's raght, nahce and tasty" The Professor said with an appauling southeren accent.

"You sounded exactly like her!" Hank said astonished, he pointed a big blue finger at him.

"Didn't your parents ever say it's rude to point?" Xavier stated pushing his hand away.

"Yes, yes they did" Hank said plainly. "They're dead now!"

"Uh, Hank, why are you looking at me like that?" Xavier reversed slowly. Hank walked after him.

"I'm going to kill you!" Hank said menacingly.

"I'm in a wheelchair, you can't kill me" Xavier ordered.

"I don't care!" Hank walked a bit faster

"I'm wearing glasses!" Xavier quickly put a pair of glasses on.

Hank took the glasses and snapped them in two.

"My glasses!" Xavier screamed.

Hank was just about to put his hand sround his throat.

"Why not kill Evan, no one likes Evan!" The Professor said helplessly.

"That's a good Idea" Hank dumped Xavier on the floor and wandered off.

"Phew, that was close" Xavier got up and walked over to his wheelchair, and sat back down.

Suddenly the door opened with a slam.

"Guess who's back?" Rogue said.

"Oo, I'm good at this" Jean said jumping up and down.

"Ray?" She asked.

"No, it's Rogue" Scott said slapping his head.

"So, uh, Rogue, still seeing that Cajun?" Scott said desperatly.

"Nah" She said.

"Will you please back away from ma Cherie" A voice came from the door way.

"Who's that?" Jean asked in wonder.

"It's Gambit, you stupid lady" Said Scott.

"I thought you weren't seeing him any more?" Kurt asked.

"I'm not" Rogue stated.

"The names Gambit, professional in armed security" Gambit walked in.

"He's my body guard"

Evan entered the room.

"Get down!" Remy ordered, everyone went to ground.

Remy drew his gun and pointed it at a very confused Evan

"I know how to use this" Gambit said, his gun backwards.

"Don't say a word, don't move a muscle" Gambit said.

"Hey dude your guns-"

Remy had charged his gun and threw it at him.

"Ow!" Evan fell to the floor, then Beast dived on top of him, pounding him, with what ever was closest, chairs, plates, bits of plaster off the walls.

"Anywho…….I'm a big company agent now, I need some protection, and Gambit is that protection!" Rogue said, her phone rang, she answered.

"I'll take this outside. Gambit…..if you please" Rogue and Gambit left the room.

"Scottie, I'm gonna powder my nose" Jean left the room.

"Hey bubs and bubettes" A familiar voice said.

"Logan!" Everyone screamed.

"That's my name!" He answered.

"Wow, Logan, you seem, happier than usual" Scott said.

"That's right, I'm a kid's TV host now, Badger man!" Logan pulled a badger mask out of no where and put it on his head.

"Hmmm…….. never heard of him" Scott said.

Jean entered the room.

"Oh my god! Badger Man? In our house?" Jean said, cooling her face down with her hands.

"Correction, MY house!" Xavier said.

"No you listen! Keep that ice on her nose, or I'll come over there and kick your ass! Yeah……yeah……goodbye reverand" Rogue folded up her phone and tucked it in her pocket.

"Who was that?" Scott asked.

"It doesn't matter" She answered.

"AHHHH!" Gambit screamed, everyone fell to the floor clutching their heads.

"Badger Man! In OUR house?" Gambit said, doing as Jean did.

"MY house, MY house!" Xavier barked.

Rogue's phone rang again.

"Oh, No………NO!………Listen, Jubilee, I told you, you work for me, so you do what I say, You cannot come here, you can not talk to any old friends, fine, I'll give you one thing, and that thing is….." Rogue hung up the phone.

"Jubilee, wondered if she could come here……heh heh, she is SO fired!" Rogue said, laughing to her self.

"Doesn't Jubilee have a crippled husband and six childeren to support?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, so, she can sell her kids, they're quite expensive on the market at the moment"


	3. Jubilee's crime and BADGER TIME!

Logan and Scott were talking to one another…….

"You couldn't be more right Logan, if I want something, I should take it!" Scott said.

"That's not exactly what I said" Logan muttered.

"Jean, I need to talk to you!" Scott dragged Jean into an empty room.

"Jean! It's over, this relationship, is over!" Scott looked at Jean's blank face.

"Oh Scottie, your so funny" Jean wandered out of the room laughing.

"But……what……God I hate you!" Scott started to strangle the air.

"Anyone home?" Jubilee knocked at the door.

"Jubes, you are so fired, I was gonna give you raise if you stayed at the office, but noooooo!" Rogue ranted.

"No! You said you would fire her" Brian Cox said.

"Listen Brian, you maybe the newest member of the X-men, but GOD! You don't half irritate me" Rogue said.

"Well I just need to use the bathroom" Jubilee said.

"Isn't zhere one in your office?" Kurt asked.

"She lost her bathroom privileges a long time ago!" Rogue said.

"Yes Jubilee you may use the bathroom, first door on the right" Xavier said.

"Professor, it's zhe second door on zhe left" Kurt argued

"I know! It would have been funny, until you ruined it, you big blue moron!" Xavier pouted.

"Well thanks" Jubilee went up stairs, and ran into Scott, who looked a mess

"Jubilee? Do you know how annoying Jean is? You gotta help me Jubes, you gotta!" Scott was crouched down, and looked stressed and insane.

"Scott you're scaring me" Jubilee said.

"I know, you gotta help MEEEE!" Jubilee and Scott fell down the stairs.

Jubilee fell on top of Scott, Jean walked in and saw them.

"Scott? Jubilee? Behind my back?" Jean screamed.

"Well not exa-" Scott covered Jubilee's mouth.

"Yes! Every night! I guess our marriage is doomed for failure! Oh well…" Scott smiled hopefully.

"That's right! C'mon Nightshade, let's go!" Jean picked up two random suitcases and a pepper mill and left.

"Scott, I'm so sorry, I di-" Scott interupted her.

"Thank you, THANK YOU!" Scott laughed and hugged Jubilee, then ran off.

_Several days later, all the students were still there………._

"I thought this was just a party, I didn't want you to move back in" Xavier complained.

"Send me an e-mail and I'll take your complaint under advisement" Hank said.

"Will you stop saying that!" Xavier complained.

"I'm going to kill you!" Hank said, again.

"Evan! Kill Evan!" Xavier whined.

Hank sniffed "Evan's flesh is near by" He galloped out the room.

Scott slumped into the room, his hair a mess.

"I miss Jean" He said.

"Good, Good" The Professor wheeled out the room, not listening.

"Has anyone seen my glasses, whoa!" Brian Cox fell down the stairs.

"No, havn't seen them" Xavier said, looking from side to side nervously.

"Jean used fall down the stairs" Scott smiled sadly.

"Hey everyone!" Jubilee said a big smile on her face.

"Jubilee, could you say I'm sweet, or brave?" Scott asked.

"Why?" Jubilee asked suspiciously.

"Just do it, for me?" He asked.

"Okay, your so sweet" Jubilee said puzzled.

"Jean says it better" He sat down on the couch.

"Hey dudes" Evan walked into the room.

"Evan, could you talk to this pepper mill for me?" Scott asked, he handed Evan a pepper mill.

"Hi!" Evan said, waving.

"Oh thank you!" Scott hugged Evan.

"Vhat are you doing, man!" Kurt screamed.

"You're right!" Scott punched Evan "Thank you Kurt, I don't know what came over me"

"Anytime. I thought you hated Jean!" Kurt asked astonished.

"Yeah, but now that she is gone, I miss her" Scott sniffed.

"I know how you feel" Kurt started crying, as did Scott.

"Hey me and the old…new students are going for a drive in the X-van" Jubilee said.

"Fine, I'm not your mother!" Scott said.

"Okay, seeya" Jubilee ran out the door.

"Home by seven, and be careful!" Scott waved out the door.

"If you miss her so much, call her, you know your own number right?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, maybe your right" Scott said.

Kurt remebered something important.

"Scott, just remembered something, Jean's getting re-ma…" Kurt was interupted.

"Can't you see I'm dialing?" Scott said angrilly.

"No, She asked me to be her vic…" Kurt was interupted again.

"Can't you see I'm talking?" Scott said angrilly.

"Yeah Jean?……..I was wandering……..yeah……yeah……no? Kay…..see you there" Scott put the phone on the hook.

"Jean…..getting re-married……..to Nightshade" Scott said, not believing it.

"I was trying to te…" Kurt was interupted.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" Scott started strangling Kurt.

"NO, I can't do this now, stay here, I've got some planning to do!" Scott ran out of the room.

"She's marrying a pepper mill?" Kurt asked himself.

"Everyone, to the main room, there is something on the six o'clock news!" The Professor shouted.

"Oh my!" Everyone shouted, as they saw T.V.

"Seven mutants were found shot to death in quite a large van! Now onto more inportant news, an old lady complains that seagulls are attacking her phone line, is this true? or are they just perching? more on that story later"

"Can you believe that?" Xavier asked.

"They're probably just perching." Said Kurt.

"No! The seven students….wait…..seven, there were eight!" Xaiver just thought.

"Polishing my gun, polishing my gun, I shall go rejoicing polishing my gun!" Jubilee entered the room singing and polishing a gun.

"Jubilee?" Xavier asked suspiciously.

"Yeah?" Jubilee wondered.

"Have you seen the news!" Xavier enquired

"Yeah" Jubilee said "Weird huh, I say they're attacking it!"

"Zhat's vhere I disagree!" Kurt complained.

"Can't we all just be friends!" Logan said " C'mon let's sing the badger song….."

_I'm a badger, I'm a badger!_

_C'mon let's just all be friends!_

_I'm a badger, I'm a badger!_

_We'll be togethor until the end!_

_I'm a badger, I'm a badger!_

_You love me and I love you!_

_I'm a badger, I'm a badger!_

_And you can be one too!_

The music came from nowhere, then stopped abruptly.

A police siren could be heard in the back ground.

Jubilee jumped through a closed window.

A cop charged into the room.

"Hey, check up stairs, we're looking for 300 hundred pound blue gorilla"

The cop said, two cops ran up stairs armed with shot guns.

"No, you can't take me away, I'll kill you, kill you all!" Hank screamed.

"Mr.McCoy, please just come silently!" The cop said.

"NOOOOOOoooooooooo……………." Hanks screams echoed into silence.

"Sorry to bother you Mr.Xavier, by the way, has a certain Jubilation Lee been around here?" The Cop asked.

Xavier pointed to the broken window.

"Thank you" The cop said.

"Vell, a lot of people have gone" Kurt said.

"Yeah, but, MEL GIBSON IS IN THE HOUSE!" Storm shouted, she helped a hobo into the room.

"Hi" Kurt said

"Hello" The hobo replied

"Storm, that's not Mel Gibson" Xavier said.

"Yeah, Mel's got much nicer shoes" Brian Cox said, shaking his head.

"C'mon Mel, I'll show you upstairs" Storm pulled the hobo upstairs.

"So, what do you think is happening to Jubilee?" Evan asked.

"I don't know, hey, she's probably laughing out her mistakes with a pair of chinese twins" Xavier said smiling.

"Why would she be doing that?" Brian asked.

"Use your imagination, dammit!" Xavier snapped.

_Jubilee's where abouts……_

"Listen McClain, I didn't do anything, I'm innocent!" She shouted to the cop.

"I don't care" He answered.

Jubilee turned around and and looked down on the roaring waterfall, she held her breath and jumped.


	4. Where there's a Mill, there's a way!

_Back at the Institute……….Jean is having her wedding._

Roses littered the floor, the sun beams shone down on the ceremony, professor X was there, pouting; he didn't want to be. Next to him, Magneto, Professor X couldn't think who to invite, neither could anyone else, Kurt was doing the vicary stuff had bought along colossus, and colossus bought along Pyro and then the brotherhood came along.

The first bench was principally occupied by pepper mills. Pietro zoomed over.

"Hey, whats with the pepper?" He asked.

The Professor shrugged.

"Why are there monkeys in the ceremony?" Pietro asked, pointing at the chimps and apes in the audience.

The Professor shrugged.

"Okay, why are none of the X-men here?" He asked.

The Professor shrugged again.

"I'm here dude" Evan said.

"And so am I" Kurt added.

"Okay settle now, settle!" Kurt shouted, two pepper mills stood next to kurt both wearing bow ties.

The wedding march started, Jean walked slowly down the aisle arm linked with an ape, wearing a fake moustache and pants.

"Jean, where's your father?" Magneto asked.

"This is my father, dummy" Jean reached the end.

"Friends, family……..various dinner table appliances……and monkeys, we are gathered here today to celebrate…" Kurt started. A voice came from the back of the room.

"WHAT! Sold out, what do you mean sold out? I'll fire more people, I've already fired them all? Oh….I'm fired? Don't hang up on me, don't hang up o…THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO!" Rogue shouted down the phone.

"Calm down, sit down, shall I go shoot her?" Gambit asked.

"That's your answer for everything……yes shoot her" Rogue said, Gambit left.

"Sorry" Rogue shouted to Jean.

"Nightshade, do you take Jean to be your lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health?"

The pepper stood there, not moving.

"I do" The professor whispered in a funny voice.

"Jean do take nightshade to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health?"

"I……line?" Jean asked getting embarassed.

"DO!" Everybody shouted.

"I now pronounce you pepper mill and wife" Kurt shouted.

"You may……kiss the bride…." Kurt struggled the words out.

The pepper mill stood there, not moving….still.

Then the professor got up and picked up the pepper mill, and gave it to Jean, she quickly kissed it.

The professor sat back down.

The newly married couple left the cermony, Jean tripped over the few steps by the door.

"My bad" She got up.

"Jean!" Scott shouted, he was wearing a blue stripey top, onions around his neck, and beret, a little curly moustache, and was carrying a pet poodle.

Jean stood there, a puzzled look on her face.

"JEAN!" He shouted again.

Jean looked up, confused.

"Diet coke!" Scott shouted.

"Where!" Jean turned and saw Scott standing there.

"Jean I still love you, please take me back!" Scott shouted.

"Nah!" Jean got into her limo as did Nightshade, "Just Mareed" was written on it.

"Jean wrote that didn't she?" Brian Cox said.

"Hell yeah!" The Professor said.

"So, why did you think shouting at her would work?" Kurt said.

"I dunno" Scott answered.

"And whats with the french man out fit?"

"What?" Scott asked, in confusion. He gazed down at his clothes.

"Oh God! Not this again…" Scott ran to his room.

Writers note: I mentioned the ceremony was at the institute right?

_Meanwhile, in China……._

"So I said to the the cop 'I didn't do anything' and he said 'I don't care' and that's when I got mad" Jubilee explained, she was sitting at a table with two chinese people, each one looking exactly the same as the other.

"So, did you attack him?" One of the chinese twins asked.

"Nah, jumped down a waterfall" Jubille asnwered, and they laughed and slapped their thighs they did.

_Meanwhile, in westchester……_

"So Scott, you love Jean, and you would do anything to get her back?" Xavier asked.

"Yeah" He replied.

"Well. Got your self into quite a pickle havn't you?" Xavier said.

"Yeah"

"Well, there's only one thing for it" Xavier stood up, the lights dimmed down. "The Death Ring!" Lightning crashed down outside.

"Professor, Zhat's your answer for everyzhing" Kurt said.

"Maybe. But, sure is appropriate for this situation"

"How?" Scott asked.

"How about you fight nightshade…….to the death" Another crash of lightning erupted from outside.

"Keep 'em coming Storm!" The Professor screamed up the stairs.

Three more bolts of lightning came from the sky.

The professor smiled, pleased with him self.

"When you say Nightshade, do you mean the real guy, or, the pepper mill?" Scott asked.

"Both" Xavier replied, putting his hands together.

Nighshade (The person) Came round the corner and gulped.

"I kid I kid" The professor said laughing slightly. "I of course mean both"

Nightshade gulped again.

"Professor, I'll fight the pepper mill, that's all!" Scott said.

Just then sabretooth came in, with a beard "My names sabretooth, I think you should all shut up" He left again.

"Then it's settled. Rogue!" Xavier called.

"Yeah what?" She answered.

"Call Jean tell her to come to the institute with her pepper mill, for a NO power death game with Scott" Xavier ordered.

"No powers? That's it, I'm screwed" Scott sat back down, depressed.

"Nah man, you can do it" Evan said.

"Your right Kurt, I shouldn't give up" Scott left the room, came back, and punched Evan.

"Yes, Everybody, Demons, losers, goths, cajuns, badgers, hollywood actors, pepper mills. Monkeys, freaks and dumb-asses are all welcome to enjoy the once in a life time, Death fight between Scott Summers AKA Cyclops and Capt.Pepper Pepperson AKA Nightshade" Xavier paused thinking about what he said.

"Yes, now, everybody, to the Death Ring!" Everybody waited for the lightning, it didn't come.

"Storm!" Xavier called.

A Bolt of lightning crashed outside.


	5. The Seasoned Ring and Jean's new King!

_A few hours later…………_

Scott sat in one corner, Nighcrawler was giving him a massage while talking about fight strategies.

Capt. Pepper Pepperson sat in the other, a bigger tougher pepper mill stood behind him, a towle round it's shoulders.

"Okay, on this fine Wednesday night…." The Professor was interupted.

"It's Thursday" A voice called from the audience.

The Professor continued "Okay on this fine Thursday night, two lower beings than myself are fighting to…..The Death" A Lightning bolt crashed outside.

"Okay fighters at the ready" The Professor called.

Scott got up and punched the air.

Nightshade stood there, not doing much.

"On your marks"

Scott readied himself

"Get set"

He growled

"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Okay Scott made the first move, he walked slowly around Nightshade, defending himself from the mighty stillness of the seasoning.

The bell went.

"Okay, quick reveiws from our sponsors" Xavier aid.

"I thought it was terribly exciting, the utter pain these two individuals are putting them selves through" Storm rushed out quickly.

"I am the president of Colgate toothpaste company and I thought that I would inform you of my slash price sale"

"Nope, I am sorry, but we don't have time" Xavier hurried out.

"It's now time for round two"

Scott made the first move again, swiftly punching away at this sneeze making, flavouring ingredient.

"Oh my, Oh my, what's this, yes, Nightshade has fallen over, oh my God this is exciting, but that's end of round two, brief reveiws from our sponsors" Xavier said as quick as he could.

"He actually fell over, is it always this exciting?" Storm asked.

"I don't know, but I do know that not only is Colgate the prize winning toothpaste with the fresh minty taste, but it also, can speak in severall continental languages"

"That's all we have time for, round three now" Xavier rushed.

Scott ran towards the pepper mill, punching every now and again.

"Oh my God the fury in his eyes, can't see his eyes I know, but, wow! Oh my, he's finally had enough, he's picking up capt. Pepperson and twisting his head round and round, pepper is falling everywhere, I have one thing to say, that is one well seasoned Death Ring!" Xavier shouted quickly, a lightning bolt crashed outside.

The Bell rang three times.

"That's it! It's all over! Scott Summers is the Winner while unfortunate Nightshide lies dead by a pile of his own insides, horrible yes, but horribly nescessary" Xavier rushed.

"And now the fight between Security Manager Remy LeBeau and Legendary Childeren's television host, Logan AKA Badgeman" Xavier said.

"What!" Remy screamed.

"You heard 'im let's dance, Cajun." Wolverine jigged.

"That badger can move," Remy said.

"Now, unfortunatly, I have to leave you all" Logan flew through the ceiling of the Death Ring, a bolt of lightning crashed down.

"Wolverine can fly?" Rogue asked.

"Nope, Badger man can" Remy smiled.

_A few hours later….._

Nightcawler stood at the head of a small gravestone.

"We are gathered to mourn over the death of Capt.Pepper Pepperson, Nightshade to those close to him. Pepper wasn't just a pepper mill, he was a happy pepper mill, manufactured in China, sold in 'Cook's Kitchen' where you can buy all your kitchen needs" Nightcrawler rambled.

Pepper mills littered the floor, hankerchieves taped to them. Jean also stood there, holding a bunch of flowers.

"I wasn't ready to loose him" She moaned.

"I'm sorry Jean, I'm sorry I killed your husband, will you ever forgive me?" Scott said.

"Of course, I always loved you Scottie, I don't even know why I left" She said.

"Because you saw him wih Jubilee" Rogue said.

"What?" Jean asked, rather confused.

"It doesn't matter let's go to China, I heard Jubilee was staying there, we could maybe surprise her" Scott said.

"Your right, let's go to China" Jean then dialed a number on her phone, a Cab zoomed through the front Gate.

"C'mon Jean, we've got a plane to catch" Scott helped Jean into the Cab.

"Where is it to, Cyke?" The Cabbie asked.

"To China Bill, I'm gonna have a late Honeymoon" Scott said, Everyone laughed, The Picture freezes, Credits role, Crap music plays.

"Hold it, Hold it" The Professor interupted, "We have some plot lines to finish"

"Yeah like what" Rogue asked, "Jean and Scott are back together"

"Well, What about the hobo, Storm thinks is Mel Gibson? You and Remy? Nightcawler? Brian Cox?" Xavier asked.

"Fahne, finish off the plots" Rogue said.


	6. Finished Plots and The Cast Theres lots

_Unfortunatly, due to bad weather, this part of the story has been ruined, sorry for the inconvenience_

"Yes it is a shame that Nighcrawler's, Storm's, Rogue's and Gambit's Taxi to Cairo crashed into a large Cactus in the Sahara" Many heads nodded.

"But, I have now formed the new Super Hero team, 'The White Shadows'" Xavier said.

"We have Mel, the Hobo, Brian Cox, Evan, Me, Mozarts Zombie and Seven poodles Courtesy of Scott and Jean" Xavier said.

The Phone rang.

"Yes?" The Professor answered the Phone.

"Professor, I hate Jean" Scott said.

"Here we go again" The White Shadows laughed.

"Now we have the freeze frame" Professor X said.

The Frame freezed, crappy music played, credits roled

Scott Summers………Pierce Brosnan

Robot Cyclops………Cyborg Summers

Jean Grey……………Nicole Kidman

Evan Daniels……….Andy Garcia

Zombie Evan……….Dany Arcgia

Robot Zombie Evan…..Ynad Icgara

Ororo Monroe…………Toby Maguire

Toby's Stunt Double………Andy Garcia

Professor X………………..Will Smith

Will's Stunt double……….Nicole Kidman

Will's Robot stunt Double……..Leocni Namdik

Will's Zombie Robot stunt double…..Inceol Mankid

Mel the Hobo………………..Jennifer Aniston

Robot Mel…………………..Andy Garcia

Brian Cox……………………Himself

Nightcrawler………………...Vinnie Jones

Capt. Pepper Pepperson……..Himself

Randy the Ox……………….Andy Garcia

Randy's stunt double……….Himself

Rogue………………………Herself

Gambit……………………..Nicole Kidman

Zombie Gambit……………Tom Cruise

Jubilee……………………..Andy Garcia

McClain…………………...Tom Cruise

Chinese Twins…………….Andy Garcia

Robot Chinese Twins……..Themselves

Wolverine AKA Badger man….Elmo

Elmo's Stunt Double…………Andy Garcia

Beast……………………….Rogue

President of Colgate………Andy Garcia

Auther of 'Holes'…………Louis Sacher

New Mutants……………..Andy Garcia

Louis Sacher

Will Smith

President Bush

Andy Garcia

Andy Garcia

Mr. Clarmont AKA Andy Garcia

King Arthur……………….Elijah Wood

Arthur's Stunt Double……Mr.Clarmont

Cop #1…………………..Andy Garcia

Cop #2…………………..Elijah Wood

Cop #3…………………..Kay Buxten former President of Wanadoo

Cop Master……………..Christopher Walken

Cop Master's slaves…….Andy Garcia

Elijah wood

Nicole Kidman

Fluffy……………………Himself

Scruffy…………………..Himself

Patch……………………..Herself

Lucky…………………….Himself

Strokey……………………Himself

Wilbur…………………….Himself

Snuffles……………………Andy Garcia

Mozart's Zombie…………..Himself

Mozart's Stunt Double…….Andy Garcia

Lancelot……………………Nicole Kidman

And Introducing Andy Garcia as……………Princess Metranome


End file.
